Nearly Nephews

Tell me why my boys won’t wake up

And why they should die having only ever seen red

I listen to the doctor

Insisting I shouldn’t blame myself

One of those things, murdering your unborn twins

Drowning their tiny lungs with your own blood

And I know you will tell me something worth hearing

Watchman of our fort, flying the flag

Holding my smile upright all day

Until dusk sent us home

And you’re not here, and I’m trying to hold it up

But I’m shivering, it won’t stay still

Until you get here

I’m imagining clutching your hand

Like when you kept mine warm walking to school

Like you always did when you saw them wilting

Misplaced houseplants outside in the cold

Like the day we met

Twenty years ago Inside Mother’s womb

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